Chaverim y'karim - dear friends,

 

You may have noticed that I had been advertising a class on the Ketubah - the Jewish wedding contract — this evening at 7:00 PM. The class is scheduled for tonight in order to mark Tu B’Av. Originally, I was scheduled to teach it but given a change to my calendar, I needed to find a substitute - so who better than the woman who is on my ketubah? 

 

In light of that - I am sharing the column she wrote about the class and which she is sending her congregation today - enjoy! It’s not too late to sign up if you have a chance.

 

Wishing you a shavua tov - a good week,

 

Rabbi Mark Cohn, 19 August 2023

 

From Rabbi Amy Wallk:

 

Jewish Valentine’s Day

 

Tu B’Av is a lesser known Jewish holiday — that celebrates love. Known as a Jewish Valentine’s Day, in ancient times the unmarried girls/women of Jerusalem would go out to the vineyards to dance together. I have read that very near this gathering were bachelors who were interested in meeting the right match. (I used to think of this day as Sadie Hawkins Dance). Each young woman would be dressed in white clothing. I recently learned something very nice — that all the women wore borrowed clothing so that those who came from wealthy families would not stand out and no one would be embarrassed.)  

 

While Tu B’Av is no longer celebrated in this way — the Melton School wanted to acknowledge the holiday. I am very excited to teach a class on the Ketubah, "What's Love Got To Do With It?" (you can still register!) I love the idea of Ketubot and I love seeing how this ritual has evolved over time. People are often surprised to hear this from me. I am a feminist — and yet I love this ancient document in which a man acquires financial responsibility for a woman.

 

So why do I love Ketubot?

 

First off, ketubot are beautiful to look at and we have a lovely collection of them at home in a gift we got for our wedding. They are ketubot of the artist David Moss, who is credited with being uniquely involved and responsible for the resurgence of artistically designed ketubot in the second half of the 20th century. 

 

Secondly, as a rabbi and a woman - I can say things about the ketubah that men cannot say. Let me explain. There are many people who believe that the ketubah, in its original form, is highly sexist against women. By 21st century standards, it is. But in the world from which it came, it was not only anything but sexist, it actually was (and is) very much in favor of the woman. I am really excited to have the opportunity to share all of this with the students who just show up for class on Monday night!

 

The original text of the ketubah speaks to the value of the bride and the obligations of the husband. The price that is presented (for the bride) has to do with money the bride takes should the marriage end in divorce. As for the obligations of the husband, he is required to provide food, clothing, and conjugal relations. 

 

In the class, we will study the traditional ketubah and also the more modern ketubot.

 

The vast majority of the weddings I have performed use both alternative wording for the ketubah and a version of the traditional text. The traditional ketubah is about economic responsibility and duty and the modern ketubah is a much more poetic expression of love.  

 

As you all know, I love to teach. It will be fun to celebrate Tu B'Av (aka, Jewish Valentine’s Day) with learners who want to understand a bit how the Jewish marriage ceremony came into being. It isn’t too late to sign up Debbie put in the link please

 

Chag sameach! 

 

Rabbi Amy S. Wallk 

 

Pictured above - the ketubah for Rabbis Cohn & Wallk!